In a divorce case, your kids are the ones who are suffering most. They might not be able to tell their feelings like adults, but you can see a shift in their moods for sure. If you are actually looking to get the divorce matter covered without involving your kids much, then you can hardly get it. If there is a kid involved in a marriage, then the judge will ask for the kid to visit the court and show his or her preference in terms of parental custody. But, it is up to the parent to mentally prepare the kid through a divorce case and provide them with utmost help they want in this regard.
For the first stage set aside some time:
It is mandatory for you to block around 15 to 20 minutes of time a day or a couple of times every week to touch that base with kids. It is one of the major Tips To Help Your Kids Through Divorce that you should follow. Just to ensure that the time does not get eaten up by daily life, you should try hooking it up to some points that you do on a daily basis.
- You can try to work out on check-in time during your ride to home from school. You can even have a chat with them while putting them up in bed. You can linger then and listen to your thoughts regarding the changes taking place in their lives.
- Some of the other kids always have this tendency to talk some more when you engage them in any form of activity like taking a walk or a playground time, sitting on the floor to color or just for kicking the ball around. It is time to choose a time when you and your little kids are free from all kinds of distractions.
- Not all conversations have to involve them in just purging right into souls. The main aim here is to ensure that the kids know what they are actually thinking and the feeling will always matter to you. It is important that you stay beside them when they are outbursting their thoughts.
Time to ask some of the open-ended questions:
You can try to get curious as a parent and ask some of the open-ended and blunt questions. One way for you to improve the current listening skills is actually by being curious and just asking some of the simple questions in here.
- You can ask them how they feel when mom or dad is confronting them. You can ask them to help you understand what is going on in their minds.
- You can ask for their advice on what they think might help them. If you can do something about that, ask about it directly.
- You should also ask them for how long they have been feeling this way. Right from scale one to ten, how sad or mad the child is? Being a parent, it is your duty to ask these questions.
You have to resist the urge to fix it or just offer advice:
Whenever kids are getting hurt or say something that might hit you back, it can often prove to be one real challenge to not shift into any fix-it mode. Sometimes, offering some words of wisdom or putting a positive spin on the situation as sensitive as divorce might not work well for you. It is important for you to know what children need for you to understand their situation. Always trying to solve it won’t help. It is not always validating for the kids to have your attention and feeling heard but it is important to strengthen the relationship in some stages. To learn you with that, you have divorce attorney stuart fl to guide you through the procedure well.
Be sure to let the kids know that you understand them:
Other than hearing what the kids have to say to you about the situation, kids will need to know that you have understood what they said and will act on their thoughts accordingly. It is important to let the kids know that you got what they are trying to say. It is going to be a great validation from your side. There are so much more for you to know about the kids and it is up to you to serve it well. Validating children does not always mean that you need to agree with what is being said or just how they might feel.
Go for the right stages:
It is mandatory for you to know more about the kids before you can take the final step towards divorce cases. It is one sensitive case and you might have to handle the cases with ease. Just go through the steps with extra care and help.